I woke up this morning to the first snow of the season. It was coming down like crazy, and I had the craziest reaction. I instantly felt anxious. No way was I going to drive in this stuff. No way would I get to work on time or maybe at all. It took a few minutes to realize I didn't have to drive to work. First of all, it is Sunday. Second, I don't commute to my job; I work at home! Finally, it has been more than twenty years since snow was an issue in my life.
That's what I call a subconscious message from my past. I was back in the days when I drove fifty miles a day to and from work and developed a bona fide phobia of snow. When it snowed in Kansas City, I had a panic attack in St. Louis. I went to great lengths to overcome my fears--from buying a front-wheel-drive Honda to leaving home at before dawn and waiting out evening rush-hour traffic until the last car had left downtown. I was pretty successful but didn't win the battle completely until I became a self-employed, at-home writer.
Then, at last, no more fear of snow. No more guilt about not getting to work on time. No more anxiety at the sight of fluffy stuff ... unless, of course, I'm caught off guard when I open the drapes.
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