Keeping it together … or NOT

I seem to write a lot of blogs about feeling overwhelmed; but the truth is, that’s how I feel much of the time. My friend, Bobette, who seems to get more done than anyone I know, pointed out that I am only one person and can only do so much. “You have too many things going on,” another friend said today. “OK. So, what should I get rid of?” I asked. “Not me,” was her reply, not that I would. That’s just the point. What do I eliminate?

Let’s start with clients. At the moment, I have several book clients, all in various stages of writing or producing their books. I am thrilled to have them and totally committed to their projects. But I never realized how many details there are to guiding authors through the gazillion steps in writing, publishing, and promoting their books. Every step seems to take forever, and if I drop a ball, such as a few e-mail responses, I fall behind and my clients become unhappy campers. I need lists upon lists to keep up with everything I’m supposed to be doing, and even list making takes time.

How about self-care and general health issues? This is massively time consuming, especially as one gets older. I was told by a neurosurgeon that if I want to avoid back surgery (and I do!), I will have to exercise an hour a day for the rest of my life. I am nowhere near that goal and doubt that I ever will be. On top of working out the three or four times a week I do manage, I am in physical therapy and taking a Pilates class, all in the interest of that pesky back. Doctor’s appointments show up in my planner by magic. Inexplicably, annual checkups for every inch of my body seem to occur much more often than once a year.

Marketing my business and my two latest books could become a full-time job if I didn’t already have a full-time job. Marketing is a catchall word for keeping up with Web sites, social networking, blogging, and correspondence from potential clients. Whoever invented social networking was one part genius and one part sadist. How people find time to get on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and all the other possible places to meet and greet “friends” is beyond me. I am guilt ridden when I do because it takes so much time and guilt ridden when I don’t because I am failing in my market obligations.

Personal grooming for women is important, but once again, time consuming. Of course, it would take less time if I didn’t have standing appointments with a hairdresser and nail tech who are located 20 miles from my house. Speaking of house—which includes cleaning, doing laundry and dishes, grocery shopping and running errands—that little word eats of whole days.

I know I left out a bunch of activities, especially reading. I am a BIG reader. I don’t watch TV or go to movies, but I definitely read. I guess that’s expendable, but on a mental health level, it really isn’t. Besides, I am addicted to books. Then, of course, in the last-but-not-least category are family and friends. If anything has gotten short shift in my overcrowded life, it is these VIPs. The sentence, “Let’s get together” strikes fear in my heart. When can I do that? I have no idea.

So much for my latest I’m-too-busy-to-breathe rant. Thanks for putting up with yet another one.

Dispelling the Worry Demon

I have a close personal relationship with worry, and apparently we have been together for a long time. I don’t remember how old I was when my mother bought me a copy of Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. It had a lot of good ideas but no real, long-term effect.

I’ve been worrying a lot lately. I have list of topics to worry about. After 9/11, I worried about how life as we know it can change on a dime. Then, I worried about the war in Iraq and the thousands of servicemen and woman who were killed or wounded beyond repair. I worried about politics nonstop. Of course, my current worry is the economy, which is helped along by an unending flow of news and commentary on how bad it is and how the world is slip sliding away into a depression. I worry about my family a lot. When something is bothering one of my daughters, I ruminate on her problem until I find myself skipping meals and waking up at night.

Of course, I know worry is as useless an emotion as guilt. It gets me nowhere and certainly doesn’t lead to doing anything constructive that might dispel it. According to Wikipedia (yes, I really did look it up):

“Worry is an emotion in which a person feels anxious or concerned about a real or imagined issue, ranging from personal issues such as health or finances to broader issues such as environmental pollution and social or technological change.” Well at least I'm worrying about the same things other people are.

“About one in four people, have chronic worry … which can cause heart attacks, high blood pressure, ulcers, gastrointestinal problems, muscular aches and pains, skin rashes, eczema, respiratory problems and asthma.” That is very scary.

So, what to do? Being a modern, savvy traveler in cyberspace, I Googled my topic and found Dr. Edward Hallowell, psychiatrist and author of Worry. He suggests the following:

• Don’t worry alone; talk to a friend.
• Find out more about the issue; check your facts.
• Make a plan and take action.
• Take "care of your brain" (sleep, exercise, eat healthy).
• Seek human contact (hugs are good).
• Let go of the problem.

I’m sure this is all good advice, but it is nothing I haven’t heard before. Actually, it seems a bit simplistic. When I was worried about the war in Iraq and talked to my friends, they were all equally worried, and we just reinforced each other’s anxiety. The same is true of the present state of the economy. The only thing on that list that makes any real sense is “let go of the problem.” That’s tough but doable. It will take an act of sheer will to put my pet demons out of my mind.

As I wrote that line, I could just imagine myself shoving a little demon out the door, turning the key, and stacking tables and furniture against it to prevent him from getting back in. I’ll bet neither Dale Carnegie or Edward Howell ever thought of that.