The Cynical American

NPR drones on with hourly updates of late breaking catastrophes and endless commentary on what each one means. It is the background music of our lives, or at least the lives of those of us who consider ourselves progressives or liberals or Democrats or blue. The other half — the Christian right, conservatives, Republicans, and red— are getting the same messages but with a different spin on Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and AM talk radio. It’s as if we look at the world through opposite colored screens and, thus, we are not seeing the same picture. There seems no way to bring these opposing views into focus.

But whatever world we are seeing, I think both sides would agree that it’s an unmitigated mess. If it can go wrong in this country it has. We seem to go from one crisis to another with the president telling us we are on the brink of disaster, congress running around like a bunch of sheep with no border collie to guide them, and the media pushing the latest message, which is almost always incomplete and distorted.

One day we are told the sky is blue and cloudless; the next day it is falling. The enemy is Osama bin Laden; no, the enemy is Sadam Hussein. The economy is sound; the economy is falling apart. Mission accomplished; we’ve won the war. Well, on second thought, we haven’t won, and this is going to last far into the future. The US has the best health care money can buy; unfortunately, 47 million people don’t get to use it.

CEOs are making enough money to fund small countries; yet, every day thousands of people are losing their jobs, their homes, their retirement options, and any hope of financial security. Scandals are commonplace in congress, corporations, and Wall Street. And the beat goes on. I am no longer shocked at anything I hear. First, I am numb; second, I don’t believe a word of it.

It’s the lies that have made me a cynical American. I don’t know if the people who routinely stare into cameras and lie with perfectly straight faces even understand the concept of truth. Perhaps they did as children, but obviously the memory has faded. I have a sense of unreality, as I find myself living in a bad dream, unable to wake up.

I am frightened for my country, which I no longer recognize. I am frightened for my children and everyone’s children who will inherit the heap of debt, inequity, and decaying planet we are leaving them. I am frightened for myself because somehow I have to make it through the next 20 years. But being frightened is exhausting.

I need a paradigm shift, an aha moment, when I suddenly see how to negotiate the path through this tangle of deception, power struggles, discouragement. I need to wake up from this dream. But at this moment I have no idea how to do it.