If I Were Enlightened

Like so many Westerners, I fell head over heels in love with Buddhism, with its Eight-Fold Path, Four Noble Truths, Three Jewels, and all the other numbered pieces of ancient wisdom. Five of this, six of that — so orderly. So easy to remember. So Eastern. So completely out of context. Maybe that’s why so many of us were so instantly seduced.

According to Buddhist thought, our goal is to wake up — to become enlightened, liberated, and free — just as Buddha did under the Bo tree. Of course, it took him several lifetimes, most of his present incarnation, and 39 days of meditation under that tree to it. But the point is, he did awake, and, supposedly, we can too.

If I were enlightened, I would be awake to reality. I would see life as it is — the Truth, the big picture. There would be no more mysteries or misconceptions. At last, I would know what it’s all about and could stop driving myself crazy about all those things that don’t matter anyway. But what would I actually know? What is the Truth?

The answer is this: I would know — not just think or believe — but know, with my whole being, the reality of impermanence — that everything in life is born and dies and, in between, is constantly changing.

I would know interdependence — that everything in the universe is part of everything else and does not exist in isolation.

I would know nonself —that nothing and no one is unique, separate, and alone.

And I would know karma — that every cause has an effect, and every effect becomes a cause.

I do believe those things. I have examined and analyzed them, and they all make perfect sense to me. But that doesn’t make me a Buddhist, and it certainly doesn’t make me enlightened. Accepting the logic of those four principles and knowing them, owning them, totally and unequivocally, are not the same. One is cerebral; the other is spiritual. Enlightenment is not a syllogism; it’s a giant ah-ha moment.

I want to be enlightened. In fact, I yearn for it. But I don’t think I have devoted enough lifetimes or even this life to its achievement. I can’t meditate for a half hour let alone 39 days. And my will just doesn’t seem to be strong enough to make the leap. But just for a moment, let us imagine that I have had that great ah-ha moment and that suddenly I know the Truth. How would that change me? How would I live my life?

If I knew that everything in life were impermanent, that everything changes and nothing lasts, that every living thing is born and dies, I would not spend my life accumulating so many things, things I would lose eventually anyway. I would not cling so tightly to what I think is mine — my youth, my belongings, my health, my body, even my life. I would not dwell on the past nor stress out over an unknown and possibly nonexistent future. I would pay attention to life instead of sleepwalking through it. I would live lighter, get rid of emotional baggage and a lot of other unnecessary stuff, give in to more urges, and ban the word should from my vocabulary. I would live the moments I have to live, one moment at a time, then let it go and live the next one.

If I knew that all things in the universe were interconnected and interdependent, part of the never-ending process of life, affecting and being affected by every other thing — living or inanimate — I would view everything and everyone with reverence. I would nurture and protect the living planet and the ecosystem, knowing that they were once and were meant to remain in perfect balance. I would consciously seek to understand the connections and to sustain them. I would live in a state of gratitude for the miracle and mystery of this life we all share.

If I knew that I am not a unique and separate individual, that I breathe the atoms of the ancients and am inseparable from all who ever were or ever will be, that each of us is microcosm of the whole and thus perfect, I would honor every living being. I would understand that we are one in the same, separated only by the illusion of our packaging. I would cease to see the packaging and connect with others heart to heart and soul to soul. I would see the utter insanity of bigotry and hatred, of ethnic cleansing and homophobia, of cruelty and civil wars. I would devote my life to eradicating them from our world.

If I knew that every thought, word, and deed creates a reaction, a result, an effect — like a stone creates ripples in a pond — I would consider carefully the potential consequences of what I think, say, and do. I would never be careless with the power of the written or the spoken word. I would try always to do no harm and, whenever possible, to make things a little better. I would choose my words and use my words to build bridges of understanding and tolerance among people.

But, in reality, I am just here — quite ordinary, half awake, glimpsing only tiny fragments of the Truth, and waiting for enlightenment. Even if I only have to wait through this one little lifetime, that seems a long, long time. While I’m waiting, I have been meditating on an old piece of wisdom I heard once that advises: “Act as if...”

If attaining true enlightenment is beyond my present ability or time constraints, acting as if I have just awakened under the Bo tree and that I clearly see the Truth is something I can surely do. And, while I am waiting for the big aha, I can also realize that enlightenment often comes in tiny moments of clarity instead of all at once. Every time I connect with another human being … every time I realize that what I do or say creates a tangible result … and every time I protect our precious earth … I will experience such a moment.