Collecting "Bonding Moments"

Though we lived in different cities, my mother and I managed to spend time together whenever possible. Sometimes she came to St. Louis; more often, I went to Phoenix. We "hung out" for hours doing what we both loved—reading. We would sit at opposite end of the couch, each buried in a book. It was pretty quiet, but there was a sense of being together, engaged in an activity, albeit a silent one. We never said the word, but we were bonding.

Mothers and daughters bond in different ways, depending on their shared interests. My older daughter and I go to movies; meet for breakfast; stroll the Missouri Botanical Garden, cameras in hand; and when I was much younger, jogged. We would laugh and say, "We're having a bonding moment."

I'm visiting my younger daughter this week, and we are engaging in our own rituals. Yesterday, we swam in the morning, spent the afternoon cleaning out her closet, watched a laugh-out-loud movie on TV, and ate pizza. My daughter was talking to a friend on the phone, who asked, "How can you clean out your closet while your mother is visiting?" "Oh, it's something we do when she's here," my daughter replied.

My mother has been gone for eleven years, and I have many wonderful memories of her. But the one I love best is reading on the couch. Right now, I'm collecting bonding moments with my daughters to choose among. Leading contenders are taking pictures at the Garden and, believe it or not, closet cleaning.